The Big Sleep

So many people ask: is she good for you? Well, no, she’s a baby for me. This is what she does: feed, poop, sleep and lately, chat and smile a little.

They don’t come out preprogrammed to make a parents life a joy or a misery; either all smiles and sunshine or rubbing their hands together with clear evil intent. The latter would be impossible: have you seen a newborns relationship to its hands? They’re surprised by the very existence of their own hands about 94 times a day, they’d never get it together to offer an intention with them.  Continue reading

Parent, Interrupted


Nobody expects to have much me time after having a baby. We know the drill; they eat, sleep and feed and we work the other bits of our lives around them.

As they grow, some kids are little sleepy angels giving you eleven or twelve glorious hours of calm each night, seven of which you might spend sleeping and the others divided up into chores/hobbies/watching the telly/faffing on Facebook/wine.

Others kids go to bed late but when they’re there you don’t see them til a Very Reasonable hour the next morning (that’s anything after 730 in my book).

Some people have a family bed and spend many years of their lives contentedly sharing the bed with their kids. And I can see why you would – why fight unsettledness when you can just accept how things are going to go and use a solution that works for your family?

But what happens when the status quo is interrupted? My slightly wild children used to be of the ‘when they’re gone they’re gone’ variety (I’ve made them sound like a Harvey Norman sale now) and after stories, I would sink contentedly into the late evening safe in the knowledge I had time to collect my thoughts and get through my workload before the next day dawned. Continue reading

Creepy Bedtime Conversations With My Son.

This is a Hexbug. For reference. Not cuddly even.


Deep Thinker Child: Will this house break?

Reassuring Parent: No, we’ll look after it.

DTC: Even when we’re all deaded?

RP: Well, someone else will have it then.

DTC: [PanickedBut what about my toys?

Crazy Toddler Child: [Half sings, half screamsHumpty Dumpty sat on a WAAAALLLLLLL

RP: Another little boy or girl will have your toys then.

NOTE: I realise now that wasn’t the slightest bit reassuring.

DTC: I don’t want them to have my toys!  When I’m deaded, I want all my toys around me in a big circle. And my Hexbug on me.

RP: Shhh. It’s okay don’t worry.

DTC: Why? Do only old ladies die?

I don’t answer, because his voice is fading to sleep

 DTC:  [quietlyI wish there was no such thing as the sea.



photo credit: Joz3.69 via photopin cc