Or, how to kill twenty minutes before bedtime.
First ask your kids if they’ve heard of Pokémon. I mean how would I know, it’s not like I supervise all their screen time. That’s not as bad as it sounds; turns out they have watched it over the years at quiet time in childcare.
Now ask if they want to go catch some Pokémon. Oh wait, well, Pokéballs. I’m not sure; I downloaded the app three days ago and the servers have been down most of that time. I did try to see how it worked one morning on the way to work and stood furtively on the street not really knowing what to do at the Pokéstop. It’s ok, when I got in I asked a colleague who happens to also be the company’s Technical Director, and he set me straight right away. No shame, grown ups, no shame!
Expectations raised way beyond reality, shoes were found and put on in speeds never seen on a school morning. There are two Pokéstops near our house – at the church, and eh…at the Mary statue also in the church grounds. (This is common I hear – it’s like the developers consulted with the Granny’s of Ireland about where they’d like us lured to.)
We set off, the just-turned-four year old chanting “Pikachu! Pikachu!” Oh shit.
They listen to me with my road crossing instructions. I should promise Pikachu all the time. “Mammy! I’ve never been this excited to go to a church before” Me neither dude, me neither.
We get to the gate. The big fella swishes the Pokéstop and is delighted to see our Pokéballs arrive. “My turn my turn my turn” shouts the other one, and luckily it’s a 100 metre dash to where Mary hides more elusive Pokéballs under her skirts or amongst her flowerpots. He swipes. Same thing happens. He bursts into big gulpy tears “I. WAN’. POKÉBALLS.” Ruh-roh. Augmented reality is not reality enough it seems.
I placate him and he clings to my legs all the way home, which luckily isn’t far. The six year old takes some persuading that now is not the time to explore everything on the local map. He’s still happy, and wants to look for Pokémon all day tomorrow.
I go to take the clothes in from the line when we get home. The four year old reappears by my side, delirious with happiness. “Two blue Pokéballs!”
Whatever gets us through kid, whatever gets us through. Now; to petition my husband to add it to his phone…